Today, I decided I would take the day off from work. I was up late last night writing and didn’t feel like waking up to go to work, so I didn’t! For years of being employed I would not take sick days or even vacation days, because I wanted to prove something, in the end all I did was prove to my employer that I would always be there, which would seem like a good thing, but not when you work for such a narcissistic family, who only takes advantage of it, instead of appreciate it.
I am conflicted about my feelings and thoughts. I feel like I am not living, I am only going thru motions, day after day, that don’t serve me anymore, but it keeps me “safe” yet bored and not sure my “safe” place is that safe or good for me. If only I could win the lottery and have the freedom I want and need so much, life would be perfect! I guess I should start buying lottery tickets, if I want to win it!