I have been asking myself this quite a lot lately, and by lately I mean for the last couple of years. I have found myself so drawn to books and people who speak of past lives, reincarnation and mediums.
The first experience I had, led me to question life, life after death and reincarnation. This is my story: One sad day in May 2006, I felt this overwhelming feeling of needing to be held and be comforted. I turned to look at the clock on my night stand for some reason, and saw the time was 1 p.m. (yes it was late on a Saturday, but I had no reason to be up or out of bed) I was with my two babies Gucci and Cocobella my yorkies, who were my “children”(they have gone over the rainbow since). This feeling was one I was not used to, at least not one I had allowed myself to have or feel. The discomfort was so notable that I decided to call a Girlfriend who is similar to me in this matter. I just wanted to verbalize it with someone who could understand how overwhelming it felt for Me.
During this time in my life, my Grandmother (On my Mothers side) had died in March and my Grandfather was willing himself to die, he did not want to live without her. He had reached 95 and was done (I don’t blame him). I knew the call would come soon, letting me know when he had achieved his goal. That call didn’t come until July that year. As I laid in bed pondering why I was feeling this uncomfortable, unusual way, I got a call from my Aunt. I did not feel like chatting with anyone, (she is from my Fathers side), it didn’t cross my mind that her call would be urgent or any life altering news, just a catching up, how are you call. After a couple of hours, I finally listened to her message, it sounded urgent that I return her call as soon as possible. When I called back she let me know that my Uncle who at the time was only 44 had been murdered in a “hit” in Mexico City. He was on his way back from the National Olympics with his son and his team mates, (my cousin had won the silver for tennis) My Uncle his Father was the chaperone, of this group of 10 year olds. The assailants had stopped the bus and bordered it, when on it they pointed to my Uncle and said “That is him, kill him” all the while in front of his son and all of the other children on the bus.
The next day I was in Tijuana at his viewing/wake, (My Father who is influential in Mexico had been able to get the body transported Tijuana promptly without having an autopsy and then cremated) Arriving to the venue, I realized we had paparazzi everywhere, this story was front page of the newspaper for two weeks in Mexico. I did not know how to feel, as I had not been to Tijuana for awhile. When I arrived to the venue, I did not expect to see the amount of people and paparazzi. I knew he had been murdered and that we did not know who had done it, but that was it. As I walked in, I saw faces of people I had not seen in decades, and felt a bit of trepidation thinking that now they were reminded we were related, if their intention was to hurt our Family, now they had a long list of us, all in one room. I know it sounds like a movie or made up, but this is reality living and being in a third world country.
As we sat there mourning, flowers kept on coming in by the dozens, from the Governor, and other influential and affluent people in Mexico, sending their condolences, it was a bit overwhelming. All I could do was look around and wonder to myself if one of these was from the killer, wondering why, who ordered the hit, who has the answer? Until this day his murder is unsolved.
The next day when only the family gathered to bury his ashes, I was standing with his son, he talked about how he would never forget when his Father was murdered, (I had a suspicion that the time would be the same as when I had, had the strong emotion the day he was murdered)…. I think you know the answer. It was at the exact time that I had, had the anxious neediness hundreds of miles away. I did not know how connected I was to my Uncle (who by the way was only 8 years older than Me) or sensitive to feel the energy.
He had lived with my family for a few years, when my parents were still married but this had been decades before.
This was a pivotal experience and awakening for Me. I knew it was not a coincidence. I felt I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, without them thinking I was crazy, yet I knew I had to look into it. I know how many questions if there is an after life, reincarnation, past lives, soul mates, and on and on….. and why me, who felt him passing over? .. the answer came in my second reading from a medium that changed my life….