Shy vs. “stuck up”

I am often thought of as being “stuck up” when in reality what most people don’t know about me, is that I am not being “stuck up” I am actually shy, I hold my head down and avoid saying “hello” because I am avoiding feeling uncomfortable with myself. I am trying to hide. Not because I think I am better but quite the opposite. It takes me time to be comfortable with and around others. Which is also a oxymoron. I can be very outgoing, often poking fun at myself, I do this to bring other peoples walls down around me and mine. Very Pisces, the sign is two fish swimming in opposite directions, which is my constant feeling and state of being.

As a teenager I had adult acne and cysts, so I would walk with my head down, not wanting the sun to shine on my face declaring my face and blemishes. I was ashamed. I believe it stuck with me, always feeling I was not good enough to be seen, very literally. Now it is more of aging, my double chin… No pictures please!!! I often hate the pictures of me, so I avoid them like the plague. Again two sides of me going in opposite directions, on the one hand a confident, funny person, on the other a very shy insecure person who wants to be heard and not seen.

Thankful, Grateful and Blessed! 

 

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