Shame lies between secrecy, hiding  the truth, causing anxiety and fear.

Shame is one of the most harmful emotions to have, feel and experience. This horrible emotion we all have felt in some way, sometime, or have had another person inflict on us.

I have felt and feel shame, I have been shamed in the worst way by people, who say they love me. I feel shame all the time. I am trying to overcome this horrible affliction. The way I am doing it is by removing the people who do this to me, remembering that there is no reason to feel it, and speaking my truth!

Easier said than done for sure. When being shamed is part of your existence it makes it more challenging to identify and correct, since it has been my norm for so long.

My parents shamed me, my religion shamed me, my peers shamed, my partners shamed me, my family shamed me,  and on and on… It is sad to realize how shame has shaped the person I am and how much of it I have endured.

I am also guilty of shaming others, no excuses for it! Period! I didn’t realize what I was doing most of the time, this behavior was taught to me through my own experiences. Once I realized the damage and hurt it causes the other person, I took steps to rectify it, as soon as I realized what I had done, I apologized. Moving forward I make sure to check myself before uttering words and blame onto others that would cause them any kind of shame.

Below is the definition given by Oxford dictionary. 


A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.

  • ‘she was hot with shame’
    ‘he felt a pang of shame at telling Alice a lie’
    humiliation, mortification, chagrin, ignominy, loss of face, shamefacedness, embarrassment, indignity, abashment, discomfort, discomfiture, discomposure
    guilt, remorse, contrition, compunction

    View synonyms

    1. 1.1 A loss of respect or esteem; dishonour.
      ‘the incident had brought shame on his family’
      disgrace, dishonour, discredit, degradation, ignominy, disrepute, ill-repute, infamy, scandal, odium, opprobrium, obloquy, condemnation, contempt

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    2. 1.2count noun A person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honour.
      ‘ignorance of Latin would be a disgrace and a shame to any public man’
      discredit to, disgrace to, stain on, blemish on, blot on, blot on the escutcheon of, slur on, reproach to, bad reflection on

      View synonyms

  • 2in singular A regrettable or unfortunate situation or action.

    ‘what a shame Ellie won’t be here’
    ‘it is a shame that they are not better known’
    Always learning…

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 


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