I Recently relived a lesson, hopefully learned it this time. Even though it did take me until the second date to realize that the voice in my head was screaming a familiar warning, was my wise self trying to save me from years of pain, lost time and streams of tears , not to mention more therapy, while wondering what could have gone wrong this time?!
Little by little as I take a step back and look at the lesson from a different perspective with an open heart and without judgement, I realize I’ve had this lesson before but had not learned it, thouroghly obviously 😕
I think I know what the message/lesson is…. As I look into my past I realize that even though none of my relationships have been “good” or “healthy”, three stand out significantly from the others. One big difference is that I knew better when it came to these three, I had the voice in my head saying I should run, something about these men was off, but instead I allowed them to chose me and went along with there plan of ” us”, the first one cheated on me incessantly, beat me almost daily and ended up killing an innocent by standard when he was unable to find me, the second one I married, very quickly into the marriage I knew I had made a huge mistake, he was verbally and physically abusive and needy, the third one was physically unappealing, I hated his scent and the toad also was a chronic cheater, verbally and emotionally abusive as well and today I am burdened by the 550 cc’s I carry as a constant reminder of how insecure I felt, at the time and in the relationship.
Thank God, the possible fourth life changing mistake was avoided!
I am so incredibly thankful to my Soul for rattling me enough to make me listen to all the warnings and act on my instinct for my well being. Finally having some self love/self esteem.
I could hear my Grandmothers words in my ear, reminding me that it is better to be alone than in bad company.
Thankful, Grateful & Blessed!