Sisters, not always your best friend

4

As much as I had loved, treasured and tried to protect my Sister, who is 11 years younger than I am, she is not in my life today.

I literally asked the universe and my Mother for a baby, another sibling. As they say “be careful what you wish for” I know my Mother did not get pregnant because I had asked for a sibling, but she did get pregnant after so many years and at 33 years old, which at the time was an older mom. I knew she was pregnant before she told us. I was so happy and excited to have a baby in the house. When I got the call from my Dad that I had a Sister, I couldn’t have been happier.

As soon as she came home, I wanted  her in my arms all the time, I wanted to change her diapers, I would run home from school to place her on my then flat chest, for her nap, I would sit still for as long as she was sleeping, not moving to cause her any discomfort or for her to wake. I was in love with this child and did everything in my power to protect her, love her and teach her.

After my parents started their divorce when she was 4 and I was 15, the family got divided.

My Mother was angry that I sided with my Dad, punishing me with not being able to see my baby sister, when I was finally allowed to be back in her young life, she was 10 years old. I had to win her back, it wasn’t that hard to reconnect with her but the damage and negativity fed to her would always be there.

In short she does not speak to me today, which crushed my heart. I really have no idea what I did or said to deserve this. I would have never turned my back on her, in this like other relationships I find myself having to listen to my brain and not my heart. It is a bit easier when I remind myself that their are no coincidences or mistakes, this to was planned.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

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