As the child I could see and feel how enamored he was with her, so I can only imagine what my mother felt. It must have been horrifyingly painful, I would not wish this kind devastation and betrayal on anyone. She endured it as long as she could, she was miserable and made everyone around her feel the same, which sucked!!!
They each used me against each other, to the point of calling me into the divorce proceedings, because I was on title of some real estate property they had purchased years before, and had placed in trust for me.
The stress and chaos I was going through (alone) caused me to develop an eating disorder. Very few people knew or know until now, that I suffered with this for over 20 years. It was my only way of feeling in control and be able to “throw up” my feelings of dispare, heart break, abandonment and loneliness.
I hope to think that if they knew the effect this was having on me, they would have made different choices and changes, to keep me out of their drama so not to cause me the turmoil I felt within. Neither one seemed to care for the victims they swept into the hatred and anger they exhibited in their 7 year divorce. They wanted to hurt each other which they accomplished taking innocent people along with them.
Just trying to write this blog, I am in tears thinking back on the experience I had with my parents divorce. It was life changing to say the least. No wonder I have not had a successful marriage yet.
So, if you are thinking about it and have children, please remember you are the parents, they are the children. There is absolutely no reason to share “adult” problems with your children.
As hard as it can be, try to be kind, patient and thoughtful of those who will be affected by your choices.
Thankful, Grateful & Blessed!