When asked about my “family” people assume a strong natural bond, which it is not true at all in my case.
Reality is very different in my world. Most of the people I call “family” have no idea who I am, what I think, my wants, desires, thoughts, motivations, or anything meaningful or true about me.
They do however have an opinion of who they think I am, a STRONG one at that. In reality they have NO clue who I truly am. I don’t tell many, if any people who I am, what I really think and feel. I keep that part to myself, I have learned that being vulnerable is not safe for me, so I keep myself closed off to others, which is a double edged sword.
I hear people, even the ones I call “family or friends” describe who they think I am, and inside I am either really sad, hurt or amused at what they think of me. All the while I know what they chose to see in me, is what they see in themselves, what they think of me, is what they think of themselves, and so forth. So I am mostly amused at the lack of their mindfulness and reality.
Moving on, forward and away, is where I am now. It is hard to miss, what you have never really had. In the end I came into this world alone, and will leave it the same way.
