Steps in the right direction

 

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At first I had no idea what was happening. I was feeling annoyed, unhappy and frustrated. Then because of a book I was reading, I realized the connection and repetition of my experiences.

I put the facts together with my memories and flashbacks of my past. Surprise, Surprise they aligned!

These occurrences were not coincidental but another opportunity for me, to stand up for myself, speak up and put an end to the feelings of abuse, pain, shame, sadness and anger I was experiencing.

The day came, I had “practiced” the script I had in my head, I was ready! I even planned the day and time I would have the “talk”, as the time approached my thoughts were like a battle of the fittest, I was so very close to backing out as usual, so not to ruffle anyone’s feathers and upset the status quo. I was at a “fork” in the road (so to speak) and I had to decide if I was going to be the “child” or the “adult”.

I am so proud of myself for not taking the “easy” usual route, instead I spoke up keeping in mind to come from a place of kindness, and patience.

My message was received the same way I delivered it.

Just taking this action, which might seem like it would be a simple no brainier, was a huge step in the right direction for me, considering my history of repetition now I am implementing changes to start breaking my old patterns.

So far, I am happy that I had the courage to speak up and say what I felt, without backing down or retreating into a corner. I took my power and I backed it up.

I am proud of every step I take forward, and further from the child within.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

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