What is the purpose of getting married?
Generally, people marry because they are in search of life-long companionship, through which they can fill their life with love and happiness. Marriage is indeed a life-long commitment that is fulfilled when founded on love and happiness; and not on money, power, status or any other temptation in mind.
If you are considering marriage, go for it whole-heartedly, for a half-hearted relationship will spoil the lives of both. It’s in the best interest of all to never get married with serious doubts in your mind, or with the thought that you should actually not get married, or owing to any force, compulsion or pressure, or simply out of fear that you may be seen as left-out or an exception.
A happy marriage
A happy marriage constitutes of two people having the readiness to easily and beautifully blend with each other at every level, and the willingness to remain committed to bringing out the best in each other. A great marriage always has an environment of positive energy, where a feeling of gratitude and appreciation for each other are experienced naturally, and where the desire oozing out of genuine love to share each other’s happiness and sorrows together is maintained unconditionally. Where there is intense and pure love for each other, the purpose of getting married, to a large extent, gets fulfilled. A husband who remains his wife’s and who never forgets her is a worthy husband, and similarly a wife who remains her husband’s and never forgets him is a worthy wife. When you really love someone, you owe them complete honesty and loyalty.
Lessons from Hinduism
Sita and Lord Rama were married. And when Sita was abducted, Rama’s attention was in Sita and Sita’s attention was always in Rama. This is a true marriage. Otherwise, it is only a force of nature, as nature has a necessity of procreating.
Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, a spiritual teacher, has said:
“There should be a lot of peace between a husband and a wife. If there is any hurt in the relationship, it cannot be considered a ‘husband and wife relationship’. When even friends do not hurt each other, how can a husband and wife do so? The friendship between a husband and wife is the highest friendship of all… Your wife should feel that she will never find a husband like you and you should feel like you will never find a wife like her. When this happens, your life together is considered worthy and you will have a happy marriage.”
The sign of true love is: you do not see the faults of your spouse, nor do you expect something, material or emotional, from him or her; you only give without expecting anything in return. This may sound difficult or even impractical to achieve; but when pursued as an objective of life, one sees pure love, gradually manifesting in married life. And when this happens, all tension goes. You are happy all the time!
Param Pujya Dadashri and his wife were full of peace, mutual respect, and humility. Their worldly conduct and interactions were so idyllic that family and friends could notice the unity and love they had for each other. Their every worldly communication was upheld with sincerity and their love did not increase or decrease because of outer circumstances or people. Their reverence for each other continued with understanding, throughout their entire life.
How important is marriage for an individual to live his or her life?
It is not that marriage is important to live one’s life; there are plenty of people who have not married but have lived a very good and meaningful lives. However, ‘to remain unmarried’ can happen only if your karma effects are such. If your deep inner intent in a previous life was so, you will not marry in this life. Check within. If you definitely do not wish to get married, maintain an unflinching determination for the path of practicing celibacy. Celibacy has enormous advantages when attained with right understanding. It is indeed the way to go!
You may marry if it seems important to you or you may decide not to marry and practice celibacy. But an illicit relationship is a clear no-no because the consequences of illicit relationships are very, very grave. It also binds heavy demerit karmas, and therefore they should be washed off through hearty and constant repentance before God.
What is most important for an individual to experience real happiness?
The purpose of human life is to realize the Self and attain the real, permanent happiness!! The one who believes that ‘I am this name, I am this body’ is the ego. Ego takes birth, ego marries, ego becomes happy and satisfied, ego dies and ego takes a rebirth. Whatever ego has charged in his past life (karma), one gets its results (fruits of karma) in this life.
However, our real Self is the Pure Soul that resides within our body. The Soul is an eternal element. Once we realize the Self, we begin to experience liberation here, in this life, for all our attachment and hatred is present in the ego (our relative self) and not in the Soul (our real Self). With the awareness of ‘I am Pure Soul’, in any circumstance, our happiness always remains. By following this wisdom, we keep progressing on the spiritual path and experience permanent bliss and happiness while living a married or an unmarried life.