My Top Three Types are 9, 4 and 2.
So how do you find out yours? You can take a free Enneagram quiz online here (it’s pretty short, actually).
Type 9: The Peacemaker
Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.
How to Get Along with Me
- If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don’t like expectations or pressure.
- I like to listen and to be of service, but don’t take advatage of this.
- Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
- Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It’s OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
- Ask me questions to help me get clear.
- Tell me when you like how I look. I’m not averse to flattery.
- Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
- I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
- Let me know you like what I’ve done or said.
- Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.
What I Like About Being a Nine
- Being nonjudgmental and accepting.
- Caring for and being concerned about others.
- Being able to relax and have a good time.
- Knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around.
- My ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator.
- My heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now.
- Being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe.
What’s Hard About Being a Nine
- Being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive.
- Being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline.
- Being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally.
- Being confused about what I really want.
- Caring too much about what others will think of me.
- Not being listened to or taken seriously.
Type 4: The Individualist
Individualists have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.
How to Get Along with Me
- Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
- Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
- Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
- Though I don’t always want to be cheered up when I’m feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
- Don’t tell me I’m too sensitive or that I’m overreacting!
What I Like About Being a Four
- My ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level.
- my ability to establish warm connections with people.
- Admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life.
- My creativity, intuition, and sense of humor.
- Being unique and being seen as unique by others.
- Having aesthetic sensibilities.
- Being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me.
What’s Hard About Being a Four
- Experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair.
- Feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don’t deserve to be loved.
- Feeling guilty when I disappoint people.
- Feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me.
- Expecting too much from myself and life.
- Fearing being abandoned.
- Obsessing over resentments.
- Longing for what I don’t have.
Type 2: The Helper
Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs.
How to Get Along with Me
- Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- Share fun times with me.
- Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
In Intimate Relationships
- Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
- Reassure me often that you love me.
- Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being a Two
- Being able to relate easily to people and to make friends.
- Knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better.
- Being generous, caring, and warm.
- Being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings.
- Being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor.
What’s Hard About Being a Two
- Not being able to say no.
- Having low self-esteem.
- Feeling drained from overdoing for others.
- Not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish.
- Criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should.
- Being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tune in to them.
- Working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings.