What’s your Enneagram personality? MY top three types are 9, 4 and 2.

My Top Three Types are 9, 4 and 2.

So how do you find out yours? You can take a free Enneagram quiz online here (it’s pretty short, actually). 

Type 9: The Peacemaker

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

  • If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don’t like expectations or pressure.
  • I like to listen and to be of service, but don’t take advatage of this.
  • Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
  • Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It’s OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
  • Ask me questions to help me get clear.
  • Tell me when you like how I look. I’m not averse to flattery.
  • Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
  • I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
  • Let me know you like what I’ve done or said.
  • Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine

  • Being nonjudgmental and accepting.
  • Caring for and being concerned about others.
  • Being able to relax and have a good time.
  • Knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around.
  • My ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator.
  • My heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now.
  • Being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe.

What’s Hard About Being a Nine

  • Being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive.
  • Being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline.
  • Being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally.
  • Being confused about what I really want.
  • Caring too much about what others will think of me.
  • Not being listened to or taken seriously.

Type 4: The Individualist

Individualists have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

  • Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
  • Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
  • Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
  • Though I don’t always want to be cheered up when I’m feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
  • Don’t tell me I’m too sensitive or that I’m overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four

  • My ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level.
  • my ability to establish warm connections with people.
  • Admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life.
  • My creativity, intuition, and sense of humor.
  • Being unique and being seen as unique by others.
  • Having aesthetic sensibilities.
  • Being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me.

What’s Hard About Being a Four

  • Experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair.
  • Feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don’t deserve to be loved.
  • Feeling guilty when I disappoint people.
  • Feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me.
  • Expecting too much from myself and life.
  • Fearing being abandoned.
  • Obsessing over resentments.
  • Longing for what I don’t have.

Type 2: The Helper

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs.

How to Get Along with Me

  • Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
  • Share fun times with me.
  • Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
  • Let me know that I am important and special to you.
  • Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

  • Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
  • Reassure me often that you love me.
  • Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Two

  • Being able to relate easily to people and to make friends.
  • Knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better.
  • Being generous, caring, and warm.
  • Being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings.
  • Being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor.

What’s Hard About Being a Two

  • Not being able to say no.
  • Having low self-esteem.
  • Feeling drained from overdoing for others.
  • Not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish.
  • Criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should.
  • Being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tune in to them.
  • Working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings.

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