My Top Three Types are 9, 4 and 2.

So how do you find out yours? You can take a free Enneagram quiz online here (it’s pretty short, actually). 

Type 9: The Peacemaker

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don’t like expectations or pressure.
• I like to listen and to be of service, but don’t take advatage of this.
• Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
• Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It’s OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
• Ask me questions to help me get clear.
• Tell me when you like how I look. I’m not averse to flattery.
• Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
• I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
• Let me know you like what I’ve done or said.
• Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine

• Being nonjudgmental and accepting.
• Caring for and being concerned about others.
• Being able to relax and have a good time.
• Knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around.
• My ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator.
• My heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now.
• Being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe.

What’s Hard About Being a Nine

• Being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive.
• Being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline.
• Being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally.
• Being confused about what I really want.
• Caring too much about what others will think of me.
• Not being listened to or taken seriously.

Type 4: The Individualist

Individualists have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

How to Get Along with Me

• Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
• Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
• Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
• Though I don’t always want to be cheered up when I’m feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
• Don’t tell me I’m too sensitive or that I’m overreacting!

What I Like About Being a Four

• My ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level.
• my ability to establish warm connections with people.
• Admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life.
• My creativity, intuition, and sense of humor.
• Being unique and being seen as unique by others.
• Having aesthetic sensibilities.
• Being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me.

What’s Hard About Being a Four

• Experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair.
• Feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don’t deserve to be loved.
• Feeling guilty when I disappoint people.
• Feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me.
• Expecting too much from myself and life.
• Fearing being abandoned.
• Obsessing over resentments.
• Longing for what I don’t have.

Type 2: The Helper

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
• Share fun times with me.
• Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
• Let me know that I am important and special to you.
• Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
• Reassure me often that you love me.
• Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Two

• Being able to relate easily to people and to make friends.
• Knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better.
• Being generous, caring, and warm.
• Being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings.
• Being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor.

What’s Hard About Being a Two

• Not being able to say no.
• Having low self-esteem.
• Feeling drained from overdoing for others.
• Not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish.
• Criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should.
• Being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tune in to them.
• Working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings.