The Self-Intimacy Practice That Changed My Life By Salona Carlisle

Today, I’m going to talk about the potency of desire, where it lives, and how to harness it. In Tantra, we talk a lot about desire and leading with our body’s desires. According to Tantra, the soul communicates to you through the language of your desires. In the world of neuroscience, quantum physics, and the law of attraction, the precept is:

If we were a resonant match, we would already have our desires.

In other words, if you don’t already have what you desire, all these means is that you’re not yet THAT woman who is embodying the frequency that is pulsing at the very core of your desire.

The journey of personal growth is the journey of peeling away the layers of limitation and disempowered ways of being, while simultaneously beginning to trust that bigger part of you that is beckoning you from the place of already having all that you want. Traversing that space between where you are and where you are going in a way that effectively integrates the lessons you’re here to learn and allows for the expansion that is required can sometimes feel discouraging at times, especially when you’re trying to do it all alone.

So, I want to offer a couple of ways to begin exploring this for yourself. One of the most powerful places to start is by befriending your desires once again and becoming more embodied….specifically sexually embodied.


Because a lot of women are existing in the place of numbness, disconnection, and disembodiment. Through our culture and our families, we’ve been taught to not feel, to not emote, and to not desire. As a result, we learn that our sensual being is wrong, that our sexual essence is not safe, and that our desires are inappropriate, selfish, or out of reach. We’re taught to live mostly from our upper chakras – from our intellect and our heart – while our sexuality is very shamed.

And, yet, the sacral chakra is the home of your creative impulse and your ability to nurture and give birth to the seeds of life. It’s directed by the principle of pleasure, enjoyment, and well-being. It is the sacred, powerful place from which to manifest your dreams and desires.

When out of balance, some of the possible symptoms could be feeling numbed out, being out of touch with yourself, the inability to access of how you feel, feeling stuck or experiencing a lack of desire or satisfaction.

If you can relate to any of this, here’s what I want you to know…

The feminine animal body just knows what she needs and desires and is constantly in tune with that.

The more we’re down IN our bodies and in touch with our sexuality, the more we have access to our embodied wisdom, our intuition, and our desire energy….and, of course, our sovereignty, power, and pleasure. Whether we’re consciously aware of it or not, in any given moment, our sexual energy is simply pure creative life force pregnant with potential. It’s that ever-pulsating, expansive energy that vibrates at the frequency of infinite possibility.

So, the first step is to simply re-sensitize ourselves and our bodies to learn how to feel, how to be present, and how to open to and trust desire again. As we begin to feel our sensual sexual energy once again – the very source of our aliveness and desire – and do it in a way that’s safe and honoring for OUR unique, individual nervous system, we’re exercising that muscle, not only of pleasure but of continual expansion into the frequency of possibility.

Here’s one of my favorite self-intimacy practices to start with: Simply Make Time To FEEL.

Ground into your first and second chakra as well as your perineum. Set a timer for 5 minutes and just BE with yourself and FEEL whatever it is you’re feeling. From there, the next bonus step could be to simply listen for and be present with your desires.

If this is something you struggle with, that’s totally ok. Just know that you’re waking up an atrophied muscle. Nothing has gone wrong and you’re not broken!!! There’s no better time to prioritize this work than from exactly where you are today.

Every moment is perfect. And, the more you surrender to that, then the next thing can come. 

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