The Four “S” children of abuse need…

SEEN

Children who have been abused need to feel seen. So many times we feel unseen/unimportant, mostly because of our lack of self esteem, we feel no one can see who we really are.

SAFE

Children who have been abused need to feel safe. Everyone, especially children need to feel safe. Feeling safe comes in a variety of ways, from knowing that you will not be abandoned, or hurt, go hungry, because so many times it is the very person who is “supposed” to keep you safe is your very abuser.

SOOTHE

Children who have been abused need to feel soothed. Once a child is abused, they usually have no one to turn to soothe them, so many times they find ways of doing it for themselves. For me it was to suck my finger and rub fabric between my fingers, but that would get me in trouble. Later on as a teen and adult, I found alcohol to soothe me, also not the best alternative.

SECURE

Children who have been abused need to feel secure. I feel all the above go together and overlap in some way. We all desire and need to feel secure in our relationships, in the knowing that we will be kept safe, have a safe place to find soothing we need, and be seen for who we are and not what the other person needs to see in us, which is usually a reflection of themselves and has nothing to do with us.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

 

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