Two month agreement….

Only a couple of weeks ago, when my boyfriend and I hit a road block, in anger and frustration we broke up. A few days later, he requested to “talk”, at that time, he said he wanted to stay together, and work things out. I was hesitant, because this seems to be a pattern in our relationship.

I agreed to give it another chance, only if we could both agree to commit to two months, of not breaking up or threatening to, and really focus on making it work and work through our issues.

Well, here we are after a whopping two weeks if even that. He could not hold his temper and impulsivity, and walked out of my apartment in anger, but just right before that, he declared we did not have to wait until August 16 (two months) to break up.

Of course, when he realized his loss and my lack of begging and attention, he called with his “tale between his legs”, and of course I gave in, because I missed him and love him.

UPDATE: Just weeks after writing the post above, I find myself in the exact same place in this relationship. BUT this time, I feel more devastated, hurt and damaged by the words, actions and narcissism of the very person who says he “loves me so much it hurts”.

I have to remind myself, that this is NOT what love looks like, feels like, behaves like. His friends are so much more important to him, than I will ever be. His words are like daggers, his actions are lacking.

My heart is broken, all I wish I could do at this moment, is drop to my knees and cry until it stops hurting.

I trust in God and his guidance, but none the less, this is extremely painful and hurts my soul.

I pray for strength and wisdom.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

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