What awaits me….??

Tomorrow I am flying out to California to see my Mother at her request. I have conflicting feelings, but know how very important this visit is, and possibly the last time I see her in this lifetime.

My Mother was diagnosed with RA when she was 50, since then this horribly disfiguring disease has ravished her body, she doesn’t have one original joint in her body, and the chronic pain compounded with Fibromyalgia, must be excruciating.

As if that with her broken sense of self, wasn’t enough, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 70, for the fourth time she had her abdomen cut open to remove all the tumors, unfortunately, there was one that they could not remove because of its proximity to her intestine. She then had to endure chemo therapy with the hopes that would shrink or even destroy the tumor, when she had completed that, she was given a thumbs up! We were all so happy she had beat this monster, only to find out four months later, that it was back, and the second round of chemo began, this time a different kind, she was NOT giving up, now she was mad.

Worst nightmare became reality, she had an adverse reaction to the new chemo drug/s, developed a virus and was hospitalized, they then found that instead of shrinking the tumor, it had spread all over, this nightmare doesn’t end there, she then suffered a heart attack. BTW, I was only told this two weeks after the fact. I guess it is better then when she called me on my birthday to inform me she had cancer, and had been diagnosed three months earlier.

It wasn’t until I called to find out what her results had been, that she told me of the cancer spreading, she then told me she wanted me to go see her the following Tuesday which is tomorrow, which is 2,500 miles away, but that if I decided to stay longer, I should get a hotel room, because their 2,200 sq. ft. house didn’t have room for me to stay. A warm welcome as usual!

I have no idea what awaits me, if she will apologize for the pain, she has caused me, or if she wants to make sure, she gives me more negativity and pain to live with? I will follow up with another blog about it.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed!

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