A hallmark of psychologically abusive families is pitting siblings against one another.
Another one is triangulation, where family members talk behind one another’s backs instead communicating effectively.
Here, distrust or dislike of the sibling is deeply engrained from childhood. Even if the relationship is OK on the surface, these siblings tend to not seek out one another’s company.
Abusive parents with more than one child often have a golden child and a scapegoat.. When they grow up, they probably won’t want to have anything to do with each other.
It’s not too dissimilar from not wanting to hang out with the school bully after graduation.
This is a sad reality, I experience in my family. I am the “scape goat”. I would call it more of the “Black sheep” the one who will stand up to the bullies & confront their behavior, this only gives the abusive parent more ammunition to complain to my siblings about me. They expect me to take the abuse, thank them for punishing me, since I deserved it somehow. All with a smile and open arms, waiting for my next dose.
The punishments they have afflicted on me, are heart breaking and still hurt my soul. They have taken from me what can never be regain or relived. In the midst of all the torturous behaviors, I still have to find ways to forgive them and love them regardless of the pain they have caused me. While I forgive because it is what God asks of me, and I continue to love them, I can never forget and when the memories come up, they still feel like a sword through my heart.
Thankful, Grateful & Blessed!