Sad memories

It is interesting what thoughts & memories come up when your alone.

I was driving down the road, when suddenly the memory of the pain I endured when my first love and I broke up. I honestly didn’t think I would survive the pain, I could feel the broken pieces of my heart as they disintegrated into dust. My heart feels so sad looking back to the 17 year old I was in so much pain. I had no one to talk to or turn to, I was alone and convinced this pain would never end, leaving me no choice but to end it myself, by cutting my life short.

As I move on looking back through my life, I realize how much pain I have endured. My heart has been broken so many times, my being has been destroyed, and now I deal with the consequences of not being able to trust, not sure if I will ever find true love or be loved.

Here I am 30+ years later, the only thing I know for sure, is that the pain alone has not killed me, still alone in so many ways, still looking for my person and love.  Wishing I could hug that teenage girl, talk to her and somehow convince her that all she needs is to love herself first, because she is loveable and worthy.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

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