Nine years /Seven months later

Blessings come to me, in the most unexpected ways.

Today, I felt I needed to call my ex in San Diego, the person I spent 5 years with, our relationship was good, bad, easy, hard, complicated, up and down. Yet in my heart and Soul, I have always known we were true soulmates, maybe not the kind to spend a lifetime in a “relationship” but the kind you know is meant to teach you lessons.

When I called he answered my call within the first ring. He quickly said, “Long time stranger”, he asked if he could call me back in the evening as he was with a client. 

Around 7 p.m., he was calling me back. We ended up catching up on our lives in our respective cities. He gave me a virtual tour of his home, that has been under construction since I left San Diego three years ago. Then he asked about my Mothers passing seven months earlier, at first I was hesitant to share the pain I had experienced at the hands of my siblings and Mother, before I knew it, I was sharing my pain with him. 

The words of comfort, understanding, empathy and acknowledgement of my Mothers fault, etc. seemed to be coming straight from her. I somehow knew these words, were not his, but my Moms. She was using him as the vessel to relay what I needed to know and most importantly hear. 

Later in the evening after our call had ended, I processed what I had just experienced, walking around my block, I gave thanks to both of them for showing up for me, and dared to ask if my Mom could give me one more sign that indeed it was her speaking thru him. (Since her death, I had asked her to leave me dimes. This way I would know it was her, sending me the message that she is with me.) I thought it is a bit too much to ask, yet I still looked around the ground outside and saw nothing. I went up to my apartment as I exited the elevator, walking by the adjacent hallway, I looked down and there it was a dime! Tears rolled down my face, as I realize how strong my bond is to my Mother and that she has apologized for torment and punishment she had shown me while she was alive. 

I feel so incredibly blessed and thankful Thank You Mom! 

Our VERY brief story: We met thru my then boyfriend. As soon as I met him, I thought “YUM!” he is 6’2″ blonde, German alpha male, who showed self confidence to the point of arrogance, highly intelligent, sexy, masculine, business owner.

At the time he was dating many women and I obviously was dating the man who introduced us. I lived in Vegas, slowly making my move back to San Diego, my relationship ended shortly after my move. 

One day I was visiting a friend who had just gone thru her own break up, she wanted to go out dancing to a local restaurant/club, I really wasn’t up to going, but was “taking one for the team”. 

As we walked around the very popular place, trying to make our way thru the cluster of people, I walked outside onto the balcony area to smoke with my fellow smokers. As I stood there this magnificent tall drink of water was walking by, I knew I knew this person, but at the time I could not figure out how. I reached out to get his attention, as we stood there trying to figure out how we knew each other, it hit me. I asked him, do you know Javier? He replied Joe? Then it clicked for both of us, we had met thru Joe, he quickly asked me “How is Joe doing?” I replied (happily) “I don’t know we broke up”! We soon sat on a couch in the balcony area, after some small talk and a drink, we were lip locked, to the point that security came to pull me off of him. Our attraction to each other and the immediate chemistry could no longer be denied and no longer had to be restrained.

That night, I behaved myself and went home alone. To my happy surprise he called me the next day, we scheduled our first date. 

Five years later, I found myself miserably unhappy and realized he felt the same. I knew he would not leave me, I had to be strong for both of us and walk away, even though I loved him and probably always will. 

It was to this date the hardest break up. He begged and pleaded with me, he would show up at my apartment many times, crying thru the window, begging me to give him another chance. My heart broke for both of us, yet I knew our time together had to end. 

Being the hot commodity he is, it didn’t take too long before he was dating and running around town. I on the other hand, had made a pack with myself, to spend one year alone, process our relationship and our break up, heal, pray and grow. 

I mostly kept my word, I dated sporadically, but no one could fill his shoes. It wasn’t until eight years later, that I would get into another relationship. 

It has been NINE years since we broke up, we continue to be in contact. 

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

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