CONTROL can mean being in the driver seat to make your ideas come to life and be able to set expectations, rules, and steps in order to fulfill your plans and get where you want to be.
But what do you do if you don’t have control over the things that are happening to you?
Imagine being in control of your life as if you were driving a car. Why did you get a car? To get you to places right? Why not just take a bus or a cab? Because you want to be in control of your time, your comfort, and your freedom. But same with driving and being in control of your own car, you need to drive it when you are in a good state, with focus, a goal, and acceptance that there are other factors and things out there that you can’t control.
In life, there are things that we can’t control. There are things that we don’t see coming and we feel that we’re forced to live with the consequences. Whenever you feel stuck and you just don’t know where to go after losing the ability to control the situation and you feel lost, then maybe it’s time to keep these 5 things in mind:
1) Your failures do not define you
The sad thing about failing to control aspects in our life is that it discourages us to try again, but never forget that these failures do not define us, what defines us is our courage to get up and try again and fulfill our purpose in this situation. We need to understand that the only way to face this situation is with love.
Love yourself, and be your own support system. Treat yourself with appreciation and kindness. Being kind to yourself is like you are boosting a friend up. Will you tell someone you love and care about they’re not good enough? Will you tell them they will never succeed? If your answer is no then it’s about time to remove all that negative self-talk. Instead of convincing yourself why you can’t, ask yourself why you can.
2) You are still in control
You may not be able to control the situation, the people around you nor the outcome, but you can still control how you see what’s going on. You and you alone can control yourself. You control your emotions and your point of view. Instead of seeing things as a disadvantage and as a loss, rewire your thoughts to thinking that this obstacle that you’re in is something necessary in order for you to grow.
3) Obstacles give you the room to grow
Imagine and remember all the unfortunate events in this world. Every time something unfortunate happens, it gives people room to explore and grow. New inventions, innovations, and smart ideas to avoid it from happening again or to prepare when it happens again or just simply make life better.
Just like a flower under a storm, the darkness might scare you, but it will water you and lead you to grow. You are a work in progress and the only way to learn and grow is to go out of your comfort zone. This situation feels like an obstacle because it’s new to you or it’s made out of your comfort zone, but guess what? Outside your comfort zone is where all these learnings come from and that is where you’ll discover all these new things that will aid your growth.
4) Rejection is a redirection
Rejection can be tough, but it has a purpose. It steers you to do things and it keeps the fire in you going. If you’re in the same place, doing the same thing, you will do the same thing for the rest of your life.
Sometimes when things don’t go as planned or maybe some things are just not working, the point of you getting up when you’re down is where you’ll give yourself that kind hope and spark of inspiration as to what to do next. Our inconveniences, rejections, and obstacles sometimes make us overthink whether things are still working or not and that’s okay.
This phase, it is giving you the chance to ask yourself. Is it giving me fulfillment? The happiness I want? The freedom I need? When we’re rejected, we redirect our emotion and view to the light or the direction where there is more hope.
5) Trust the process
When something in our life fails, go get up and try again. If it doesn’t work still, go back to the drawing board and tweak it up, but when you receive a hard NO and it looks like it’s time to let go of being in control and going where life takes you next.
Trust your journey. This is not as easy as it sounds. Yes, you will feel lost, uncertain and you will feel scared, but what would you do if I told you that you are where you’re supposed to be? What if you knew that you are supported and guided all this time? What if I told you that you were taken away from that situation because there’s better things out there planned for you? Would you still be sad if you knew that you are currently facing these things because all that you’ve asked for is on its way to you now and you are right here where you need to be? I bet not.
You need to trust the process and trust that everything is happening for a reason and you need to learn the lesson attached to this experience.