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ADD is more than you think…

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“Sorry I’m late. Sorry I lost my keys. Sorry my car is a disaster”.

Living with ADD often means apologizing all the time, for everything — not to mention a crippling sense of inadequacy and shame — as you try to “pass for normal.”

The phrase trying to “pass as normal” rings so very true for me. I always knew something about me was a bit off, I just thought I wasn’t as smart as others, or that I was inept, inadequate or incapable of what seemed to come so easily for everyone else, the SHAME that accompanies this feeling of inadequacy is insurmountable!

Trying not to call attention to it, I would instead make a joke about not remembering something, not knowing something I should, etc. because a lot of the times, I knew I had been there physically and should know what people were talking about, but for some reason could not retain any of it, even if I found it interesting. Then when I would have the courage to speak up because I finally knew the answer, inevitably there would be someone to tell me I was wrong and why I was wrong, my parents especially my Father were the first to do this to me, so I learned to keep quiet and play the role of the “air head” life was easier this way, it usually is if no one expects much of you. This way too, they could just tell me what my thoughts “should” be. Little did they know I wasn’t listening. I still have opinions, and my own thoughts.

The other thing that comes along with having ADD is the boredom which is palpable, sometimes I feel like I will literally fall asleep while “trying” to be present or when I am “listening” to someone speak.

I am anxious and get up and move around.

Now at least I have a name, a diagnosis, and a plan to help with all of this, hoping that with my doctors help, I can do or try something that will alleviate some of my issues/symptoms, unfortunately, no matter how many drugs, therapy or help I get for this neurological disorder, I cannot change the past, or the shame I have felt, and still need to deal with.

As they say you can’t fix it, if you don’t know what it is that needs to be fixed. Now I know, now I can work towards a better tomorrow.

♓️Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

Dog sitting and missing…

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I recently dog sat my friends chihuahua mix rescue. It was amazing how good it felt to be around an animal all snuggled up to you, only wanting your warmth and attention, looking up at you with those kind eyes, saying I love you without needing or using any words.

I miss my “kids” Gucci & Cocobella so much, I think of them all the time. I am so ready to both be loved unconditionally and love that way again.

I daydream of the day I have my new baby girl “Madison” aka “Maddie”, I look forward to being a “Mommy” again, I love her already, yet my love for my future “baby” will never diminish what they G & C meant and will always mean to me.

Here is to a new beginning! Hoping it is sooner than later.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

 

 

It’s no wonder, I avoided school.

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It is no wonder I avoided school!

By the 60th time I had been truant from school, I was finally caught. The principal summoned my mother to discuss my absences, after that literally nothing was done about it.

I changed schools in 11th grade again, much to my surprise the assistant principal from the previous school, had also moved to my same school, this time when he noticed my absences, he took action. His solution, was to transfer me to a continuation school. I don’t recall much if any input from my parents, as by now they were knees deep into their divorce.

Luckily, I did so much better at this school, because the expectancy of me was reduced, and I was free to get work done at my leisure. This worked for me, I was able to get all caught up with my work and graduated on time from high school.

It wasn’t that I did “like” school, I really liked the social part of it. It was that I was not “getting” it. I felt inept and frustrated.

Below is an article I found online, that explains more on having ADD

An attention deficit disorder (ADD) is a weakness in the brain’s ability to focus on important sensory information. ADD can impact a student’s ability to process information from a teacher’s words, music, video, and written text. An attention deficit may also affect the brain’s ability to filter out information that is not important. People with ADD cannot tune out distractions that others may barely notice.

The Difference Between ADD and ADHD

People with the symptoms of ADD who also have hyperactivity are described as having attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). While people with ADD who do not have hyperactivity may appear dreamy or “off in another world,” people with ADHD are likely to have difficulty in sitting still, and may need to move or pace simply to pay attention. They may also be more likely to engage in risky activities such as unprotected sex and drug use. Because people with ADHD are more likely to display overt symptoms (and are often considered to be “troublemakers”), they are also more likely to be identified with and treated for the disorder.

Sensory Dysfunction

In addition to the issues described above, people with ADD/ADHD may have sensory dysfunction, meaning that they are hypersensitive to and aware of sound, light, and physical sensations. Even the sensation of clothing on the ​skin or the temperature in a room can be a distraction in ADD. An attention deficit exists when the brain cannot maintain focus on important information. People with ADD cannot filter out unnecessary information or prioritize important information. Problems controlling impulsive behaviors and thoughts are common.

In School

School can be extraordinarily challenging for children with ADD/ADHD. While this is true to a degree in preschool and kindergarten, it can become increasingly difficult as children complete the early grades and move on to settings in which sitting still, focusing on spoken words, and maintaining focus all become extremely important.

Students with ADHD may experience:

  • Inability to follow teacher instructions.
  • Auditory and visual confusion.
  • Memory problems are common.
  • Hypersensitivity to visual and tactile sensations may exist as well in ADD. Those with the disorder may feel overwhelmed by pulsing fluorescent light or electrical sounds.
  • People with ADD may feel overwhelmed by large assignments. Processing directions is difficult as well. Complex problem solving is likely to be difficult.
  • Hyper-sensitive olfactory systems can also be a problem for people with ADD. An attention deficit may cause everyday smells to seem overwhelming.

Other issues that become increasingly difficult include:

  • an expectation that students will be able to manage multiple tasks and deadlines
  • a need to organize school materials and plan ahead for tasks ranging from getting permission slips signed to completing long-term assignments
  • the requirement to sit through multi-hour standardized tests
  • withdrawal of opportunities, such as recess, to move around and engage with others

All of this article rings true for me. 

♓️Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

7 Mantras To Increase Your Happiness By Heidi Richards Mooney

There are many ways you can increase your happiness and several tricks that don’t require much preparation or effort. Our words have power, and by repeating mantras to yourself throughout your day, you will find that feeling happy begins to come naturally to you.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

Here are seven mantras that, when repeated often, can change your life.

1) I Am Amazing

These three words can help prevent you from falling into a slump of self-hatred. Too many individuals do not have respect for themselves and forget that they are amazing, beautiful, and one-of-a-kind. Repeat this mantra often so the words will come to you when you need them the most.

2) I Am Grateful

Gratitude is a sure way to gain happiness. When you are grateful, you are making an effort to remind yourself of the good things in your life. In turn, this positive attitude attracts even more good things.

3) I Love Myself at All Times

One of life’s most important lessons is to love ourselves. If you feel as though you haven’t quite gotten to a point of full self-love and respect, then repeat these words until you do. Say them when you are pleased with yourself, as well as when you are angry and disappointed in yourself.

4) I Am a Magnet to Good Things

Believing that good things and positive situations are headed your way will actually help them do so. Thinking of yourself as a magnet to everything that is amazing will draw those things to you. Your self-confidence and positive spirit attract what they put out, and you will see your life becoming enriched as you repeat this mantra often.

5) I Attract Healthy People into My Life

Even in the best circumstances, the wrong people will keep us from going far. Create a circle of friends who are hopeful and positive just as you are. Avoid drama, and repeat this mantra to yourself when you are tempted to get sucked into someone’s negative energy.

6) I Can Do Anything I Set My Mind To

Believing in yourself and having confidence in what you can achieve will take you far. When you know that you can do anything you set your mind to, you will find unlimited happiness in that knowledge. Speak these words when you are struggling to change your situation, and know that you have the power it takes to do so.

7) I Have a Purpose

No matter how much money a person makes or how much they accomplish, life will feel pointless and void without a sense of purpose. There are plenty of books written on the subject that can help you analyze your life and find out what your specific purpose is. Think about the things you love and are drawn to, and what gives you your greatest feeling of satisfaction. You have something special to offer the world, and this mantra reminds you of that fact.

“I give myself permission to enjoy the present moment.”
— Human Angels

Our words hold much power, and mantras are a great way to set us on the path to happiness. When you use your words to bring positive things into your life, you will find happiness. Repeat these mantras and find out what a difference they will make for you.

What causes ADD?

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What Causes AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ]?

AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ] is a neurobiologically-based developmental disability estimated to affect between 3-5% of the school age population (Professional Group for Attention and Related Disorders,1991). No one knows exactly what causes AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ]. Scientific evidence suggests that the disorder is genetically transmitted in many cases and results from a chemical imbalance or deficiency in certain neurotransmitters, which are chemicals that help the brain regulate behavior. In addition, a landmark study conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health showed that the rate at which the brain uses glucose, its main energy source, is lower in subjects with AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ] than in subjects without AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ] (Zametkin et al., 1990).

Even though the exact cause of AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ] remains unknown, we do know that AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ] is a neurologically-based medical problem. Parents and teachers do not cause AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ]. Still, there are many things that both can do to help a child manage his or her AD/HD [ A.D.D. OR ADHD ]-related difficulties. 

Basically, unknown!

♓️Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

4 Ways To Make Your Home A Healthy Living Environment By Kevin Gardner

Your home is where you go for refuge. It’s where you go to relax, cool down, and take back your sanity after a long week. Because of that, it’s so important to make sure that your home is a place that fosters that relationship. You should feel calm inside your own space and feel like you can relax there with others or even by yourself. In order to create this feeling, you need to be willing to put time into it. Here are some ways that you can easily create a healthy living environment in your home.

1. Let in the natural light

Studies have shown that natural light can do wonders to your mood, your motivation, and your health. Natural light contains several things that help to regulate your sleep cycle. It has the right amount of “blue light” that tells your body when to sleep and for how long to sleep. This is why (if you’re not on your phone or a laptop after the sun goes down) your body starts to slow down and get ready for bed. However, using a laptop or a phone late at night can mess up this sleep cycle because they also emit blue light.

The difference between being on your laptop all day and letting in natural light all day is that the natural light also gives vitamins to your skin like vitamin D. Vitamin D helps to strengthen your immune system. Letting natural light into your home can do wonders for your health. Moreover, humans evolved to see reflected light, not a direct light source.

2. Repaint the walls

Another thing that you can do in your home is to repaint the walls. Over time, walls can get beat up. Kids might draw all over it, chairs might smack against the paint, and other things happen that make the walls look dirty and banged up. To make them appear nicer, cleaner, and new, there are a few things that you can do. The first thing that you might want to consider is having skim coat walls. This is a process that smooths out the walls and makes it appear new without having to fully repaint the walls with a new color.

The other option is to repaint your walls entirely with a new color. Especially if you moved into an older home and the walls were painted long before you got there, it might be time to paint the walls a color that you really enjoy. To do this, simply find a color that matches your personality and soothes you. Repainting will make you love your home more and feel more comfortable.

3. Play relaxing music

Since you want to be able to relax in your home, you should consider playing soft, relaxing music to help you calm your mind. If you have children at home, playing soft classical music will help them to associate home with feelings of comfort and learning. They will want to invite their friends over to their house rather than going over to someone else’s house since your home will feel more comfortable for them. It will also help children concentrate during homework and learn to control their emotions better.

4. Have real conversations

A part of being healthy is mental health. Mental health and emotional health are just as important as physical health. To help you and your family develop emotional intelligence, try and focus on having real conversations at home. Don’t be afraid to talk about “taboo” subjects and foster a feeling of open conversation. You want your children to feel like they can come to you for anything that they need and feel like you’ll understand any and all of their concerns.

Doing these things will help your children and your family to love your home. You will feel more comfortable there and you will learn to treat your home like a haven.

How To Tune Into Grace And Let It Transform Your Life By Parvati Devi

We tend to think of painful things as mistakes and the good stuff as luck. Or perhaps we think of what we like as grace, a gift from beyond, and things we don’t like as a curse. However, if we really choose to see the moment and understand our life, at some point we ask, what is grace? Do we have control over it? How can we amplify it? Where does it come from?

Many of us are walking around through our days wanting life to be different. There is tremendous unhappiness in the world and we contribute to it through our disconnected state of being. A fog can run through our mind and seep into our day, as though somehow we are just not quite there. In essence, we are not. We are lost in wanting, in our thoughts about what could be or what was, rather than what is. We resist what we feel and deny the happenings in our lives, looking the other way. But beneath the denial, the feelings and events continue.

Living in this foggy-disconnect is why we have not quite rooted in our being on the Earth, tapped into the vitality of this moment, and expanded to meet what is. If we are going to give thanks, we need to feel connected to this moment. If we are going to connect to this moment, then we need to look at what this moment brings.

Seeing grace

If this moment brings tension, see it as grace. If this moment brings expansion, see it as grace. See all as grace. When you see all as grace, you stop resisting and begin to expand beyond the limited confines of your ego and tap into the vastness of pure consciousness. You begin to remember that you are not the doer, but a vehicle for the divine.

The habit of thinking we are in control is very deep in our psyche. We think life is happening “to me” and we are “in charge”. This leads to inevitable disappointment, which results in suffering. When we realize that all is grace, we feel grateful for what is. Think about it. You breathe. You are alive. What force is keeping your body that way? Really think about it. What force? Is it not amazing?

This life provides us with such riches, yet we can easily overlook them because we are busy wanting something from the future or the past. We miss the here and now. We take the simplest things for granted, but they are there only because of grace.

Reconnecting with grace

Here is a practice to reconnect with the wonder of grace:

  • Go outside for a walk. Take a look more closely at the immense complexity of life, the many layers, and intricacies in all that you see.
  • Take a moment to deeply inquire into the question: what force runs through it all?
  • Then, take three long, deep breaths and know that you are a part of it all. You are a part of and lovingly held within that force.
  • Allow that thought to sink in deeply and bring about a feeling of awe.
  • Feel yourself rooted in the moment, vital with the force of life, and expansive as you open to receiving the grace that always is.
  • The tremendous power of gratitude is just waiting for you to breathe it all in and know that you are loved.
  • Stay with this feeling as long as you choose. Then take three more long, deep breaths. Inhale the grace that you are and the grace that is all around. Exhale a wish for ease and peace to all beings, including yourself.

Chief Transformation Officer

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At work one fateful day, our CTO (Chief Transformation Officer) a woman with a PhD, non the less, informed me that I would be attending a two hour ongoing weekly meeting, I would be taking notes/minutes to be posted on our business portal for everyone to read and see. I was not only hesitant but horrified, petrified and resistant to say the least.

In high school, I scored below average for comprehensive reading. Which means, I wasn’t really understanding what I was reading.

It surprises me now, how many red flags there were. My family at the time was in turmoil and I went under radar, I could have been diagnosed with the ADD then, my life would most likely be very different today. I was finally diagnosed with at age 49, only because of this new responsibility at work, that pushed me to want answers.

The first couple of meetings I attended, I was blocked mentally and struggled through the first hour meeting, later writing the notes was stressful to say the least,  I felt like I was confirming how inept I am. I knew I couldn’t hide it anymore, this was a challenge that would bring light  to my predicament, I could not hide anymore, it became obvious that something needed to be addressed.

I took the first step, I called a doctor and started the ball rolling, there is not ignoring it anymore, or believing I could get away with hiding it.

Continued….

♓️Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

Common ADHD Symptoms in Women by Keath Low

Common ADHD Symptoms in Women

What are some of the gender specific symptoms of ADHD in women?

A female with ADHD may be less hyperactive and less impulsive than her male counterpart. Instead she may present with more subtle symptoms such as being disorganized, scattered, forgetful, introverted, withdrawn and socially isolated. She may have great difficulty keeping her focus on tasks, becoming side-tracked and easily distracted by things around her or even by her own thoughts. It may take her a little longer to process information, so that she appears “slow” or “spacey” or “flighty”, when in fact she may be highly intelligent.

She may have a low tolerance for stress, feel extremely sensitive to criticism, and work hard to conform to adult expectations in hopes of gaining approval from others. She may have a hard time saying “no” to others, over committing to responsibilities that she cannot fulfill. It may be difficult for her to make firm decisions on even simple tasks, so that she seems wishy-washy and indecisive. Problem solving situations can become overwhelming and she may often find herself stuck, experiencing a sense of paralysis, unable to move forward at all.

Managing her time can be quite a challenge, as well, and “running late” may be her norm. She may also be hypersensitive to her environment – the noise, the sights, even touch – and quickly become overloaded, “shutting down” and unable to function. She may feel and incredible sense of shame, berating herself for not “living up to her potential”.

If she does have more of the hyperactive/impulsive symptoms of ADHD, she may be hypertalkative and hypersocial, extroverted — a social butterfly. She may often find herself “with her foot in her mouth”, blurting out and saying things without thinking and regretting it later. She may have intense emotional reactions, seem moody, impatient, and stubborn or argumentative. She may have poor self-restraint, making decisions impulsively, in addition to having have a hard time getting herself motivated, being more productive, planning, prioritizing, and organizing her life.

Check, check, check! 

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

5 Hidden Blessings Of A Difficult Childhood By Angela Kristen Taylor

You may have seen in my last post about how a traumatic and/or chaotic childhood affects us in our lives. While having a difficult childhood is not something anyone would want — and those of us who have been through it would never wish it upon another — there are some incredibly positive results that shine through.

SEE ALSO: How I Changed The Paradigm That Imprisoned My Mind And My Life

1) You are strong

The old phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is certainly true here. When you’ve been through incredibly hard times, most people’s “hard times” sounds like a breeze to you. You’ve already been through worse, come through it, and are still here. You’re a survivor.

2) You are resilient

When bad things do happen, you’re able to quickly recover from negative situations and are often able to recognize them for what they are very quickly, effectively reducing their overall impact. You are also quick and creative with amazing solutions to any problems that head your way.

3) You are loving

Because you know what it’s like to feel unloved, you fiercely love and protect the ones who matter to you and frequently go out of your way to care for strangers who need help.

4) You are courageous

Because survival is a thing you’ve got on lock-down, you realize that no matter what happens, you’ll figure it out and work your way through it. This translates into being willing and able to take big risks in order to achieve big rewards. You’re willing to fail because you know failure won’t stop you.

5) You are discerning

You have the power of shrewdness. You know when someone is being dishonest with you, know who you can trust, and are not swept up in other people’s drama. You know what truly matters and do well in positions of leadership.

When you put these things together, you see how much of a powerhouse you really are. This is why so many people who reach high levels of success come from tumultuous backgrounds. This doesn’t come automatically though. We have to process what we’ve been through, address our emotional baggage, and recognize our strengths. This means you need to stop doubting yourself. It’s easy to focus on the negative things that have happened in your life, all the people who’ve hurt you, and stew over the negative qualities you’ve seen in yourself. It’s much harder to face your pain, focus on your strengths, and change any bad habits you’ve acquired.

But here’s the thing…

You’ve got this!

Write down those five character strengths and descriptions listed above and replace all the “you are” with “I am”. Then go look yourself in the mirror and say them out loud. Remind yourself who you are and do it each and every day. The negative qualities are far outweighed by the positive and when you believe in yourself, you’re capable of every greatness. You already have the power inside of you. When you think about not wanting to pick up the phone and make a call to someone in your database because they might think of you as salesy, or not wanting to walk up and talk to that stranger at that event seems kinda small in comparison, right?

What are you actually worried about?

What can they do to you that you haven’t already been through, recovered from, and completely conquered?

It’s time to create the life and the business you’ve always wanted. There’s nothing left standing in your way and that door to success is in front of you, standing wide open.

Walk through it.