Sad memories

It is interesting what thoughts & memories come up when your alone.

I was driving down the road, when suddenly the memory of the pain I endured when my first love and I broke up. I honestly didn’t think I would survive the pain, I could feel the broken pieces of my heart as they disintegrated into dust. My heart feels so sad looking back to the 17 year old I was in so much pain. I had no one to talk to or turn to, I was alone and convinced this pain would never end, leaving me no choice but to end it myself, by cutting my life short.

As I move on looking back through my life, I realize how much pain I have endured. My heart has been broken so many times, my being has been destroyed, and now I deal with the consequences of not being able to trust, not sure if I will ever find true love or be loved.

Here I am 30+ years later, the only thing I know for sure, is that the pain alone has not killed me, still alone in so many ways, still looking for my person and love.  Wishing I could hug that teenage girl, talk to her and somehow convince her that all she needs is to love herself first, because she is loveable and worthy.

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed! 

Pisces December Horoscope

11 Pisces

Though you’ve been able to build a strong foundation in your social networks this year, you haven’t been able to enjoy yourself in the process. The solar eclipse on the 14th brings you some much deserved recognition. It turns out you have some fans. Following Saturn’s lead, Jupiter moves into Aquarius on the 19th and the Great Conjunction on the 21st marks the dawn of a new collective era. Your role in this great shift is to break down and restructure the institutions and industries that you take part in. Easy right? It’s also your role to model when it’s time to rest. You’re about to learn a lot about how the system works and soon will be able to make it work for you.

Love Horoscope: If you’re in a relationship, both you and your partner are focused on career goals this month and might be unintentionally neglecting each other and your shared responsibilities. Whether you’re taken or single, the full moon on the 29th illuminates your romance sector and brings you back down to earth. Don’t let your goals keep you from experiencing pleasure.

Money Horoscope: Though Mars is still in your money sector and you’re in a cycle of spending too much then stressing about it, the solar eclipse on the 14th brings huge news for your career that could correspond with a raise. It’s time to align the work you do with your higher purpose and get the paycheck you deserve.

5 Ways To Take Control Of Your Physical, Emotional, And Spiritual Health

By Sophia Smith

Lifelong health is not just about your physical existence, nor is it just about your emotional well-being. Rather, health is what we would call a perfect symbiosis of those key elements in life that make you a positive, vibrant, and active person. To be healthy means to take charge of all aspects of your well-being, including your physical, emotional, and spiritual self.

Unfortunately, so many of us focus solely on a single part of the wellness puzzle that we never fully manage to complete it during our lifetime. As a result, we tend to live a subpar existence, and we always seem to be missing something. If you allow yourself to neglect one aspect of your health, you will inevitably start to feel like you’re unable to raise your vibration, unable to lead a life you want and deserve. Let’s help you overcome this challenge by taking a look at the best ways you can take control of your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

1) Start sleeping more

The modern way of life has reprogrammed our brains to think that sleep is not all that important – not because we want to think that, but because we are forced to believe it when faced with our hectic daily schedules and all of the things that we are expected to accomplish. And so, sleep falls way down in your hierarchy of needs. Over the long term, this will affect your health in numerous ways, and will ultimately diminish your quality of life both in the spiritual and physical realms.

You will start feeling less productive and more lethargic, and your emotional well-being will start to suffer, which might even lead to feelings of anxiety and depression down the road. With that in mind, the first step towards a healthier lifestyle is to start prioritizing quality sleep. Your goal should be to get eight straight hours of shut-eye every night, but make sure to go to bed at the same time every night.

2) Listen to your body and mind

Your body and your mind are in constant communication with your spiritual self, and they are always trying to tell you something. Sometimes, they’re just telling you that you’re tired and that you should go to bed, but at other times they are trying to tell you that you should change your eating habits, go to your doctor’s office for a checkup, or banish unhealthy vices. Whatever it may be, it’s imperative that you start listening to your body and your mind, instead of ignoring the subtle signs until it is too late.

This requires a certain level of mindfulness and a constant feeling of presence, so be sure to practice these skills so that you can always be in tune with your physical and emotional self. This will allow you to act preemptively and overcome health challenges more easily down the road.

3) Get covered against every eventuality

When faced with some health conditions or health challenges in general, we tend to start feeling stressed, which certainly doesn’t help with recovery. In fact, emotional stress only makes the challenge worse and can jeopardize your health and prolong recovery indefinitely. Stress typically comes from a lack of financial stability during difficult times, such as when illness strikes and the costs of treatment are too great. In southeast Asia, for example, people have started to combine eastern and western practices to prevent this from happening.

This is why people are increasingly trying to find the best insurance that covers the expenses of treatment and provides financial security during difficult times. Combined with the best practices used by western and eastern medicine, and by sticking to healthy habits such as healthy eating, meditation, and energy healing, you can rest assured that you are doing everything you can to get better.

4) Cleanse your spirit daily

Of course, it’s not enough to improve your physical and emotional well-being, as it’s also important that you tap into your spiritual self in order to cleanse your spirit and heal your aura. What many don’t understand is that this is something you should do every day, much like eating healthy or exercising. You don’t have to believe in any deity to be spiritual, you simply need to travel deep into your soul through the power of meditation, for example, in order to start banishing your mind and soul of everything that’s holding you back.

5) Start exercising and eating right

Finally, don’t forget to take good care of your physical self as well. Your goal should be to banish all unhealthy vices from your life, and to start exercising regularly while eating healthy, cleansing foods that will detoxify your mind and your body. Do this every day, and you will become a healthier and happier earthling.

Your journey has begun

The time to embark on this journey is now. Follow these tips and you will have no problem taking control of your health and paving the road to a lifetime of health, happiness, and vibrancy.

How to End the Cycle of Relationship Self-Sabotage

Relationship wreckers like cheatinglyingjealousy, and other, more subtle forms of self-sabotage can originate from an unconscious fear of rejectionvulnerability, or attachment.

It seems to work like this:

  1. A history of insecure attachments crops up in new relationships.
  2. One partner deploys defensive strategies to avoid rejection or vulnerability.
  3. The applied strain on the relationship leads to a breakup.

You may be totally aware of this pattern as it’s happening, or the process could play out unconsciously while you wonder WTF keeps going wrong.

The way out of the relationship self-sabotage loop is to examine what’s really going on.

“If someone finds themselves only getting so far in relationships, they need to look for patterns,” says Dr. Mike McNulty, a certified relationship therapist and trainer with The Gottman Institute.

“What seems to happen when a relationship ends? Do they have a tendency to distance? Do they tend to act or behave in ways that overwhelm their partner?”

Here’s how you can identify relationship self-sabotage and build protections against it.

How do you know it’s self-sabotage?

Your relationships will not implode without warning. There are signs of self-sabotage that you can address before it’s too late.

“If you self-sabotage, you tend to put up barriers to intimacy,” she said. “This might look like being hypercritical, unassertive, picking fights, being overly distrusting or jealous, needing constant reassurance, and so on.”

Check out these signs of self-sabotage and how they can influence your relationships if left unchecked.

Signs of self-sabotageLong-term impact on relationships
criticizingIf your partner feels like they can’t do anything right in your eyes, they lose motivation to work on the relationship.
blamingWhen you blame every hiccup on your partner, you create a situation where they — and your relationship — can never succeed.
picking fightsYour partner may start avoiding you and the arguments.
disrespectYour partner interprets disrespect as you not caring about their feelings or what’s important to them.
clingingNeeding too much time and attention from your partner may push them away.
withdrawalYour relationship can’t progress when the emotional or physical connection is cut off.
distrustNot trusting your partner will lead to them feeling like they can’t trust you either.
jealousyYou come across as controlling and will cause your partner to withdraw.
addictive or recurring behaviorsIndulging in distracting behaviors allows you to ignore problems in the relationship so they never get addressed.
cheating/affairsIt sends a clear message that you’re not committed to the relationship and causes your partner to lose trust in you.

If these behaviors pop up on occasion, there may not be a problem. Watch out for consistency as a sign that your relationship needs an intervention.

Where does this come from?

According to a 2019 analysis about relationship self-sabotage, these are the reasons people are self-destructive in relationships:

  • fear of getting hurt
  • insecure attachment styles
  • low self-esteem
  • unhealthy relationship beliefs and expectations
  • difficulty coping with relationship problems
  • avoiding commitment

These issues can start in childhood.

“The roots of self-sabotage are often from early negative childhood experiences,” Feuerman said. “Often it results from parents (or other caretakers) who have been either unresponsive, abusive, or inconsistent in their responsiveness and caretaking toward the child. It triggers deep-seated feelings of being unworthy or not good enough. It fosters a negative view of oneself and negative expectations or mistrust toward others.”

Here are some examples of how insecure attachments can manifest in relationships:

  • A person who is afraid of abandonment will avoid relationships to protect themselves. They may also let things progress only so far before sabotaging behavior ends the relationship.
  • A person with a fear of abandonment may be controlling and demanding to hang on to their partner.
  • People who have experienced trauma in childhood or other relationships may be uncomfortable with intimacy and vulnerability because of how they were treated in the past.
  • Some may reject appreciation or positive attention because in the past it turned into abuse.

Self-sabotage affects your whole well-being

No shade on the single life, but people in healthy relationships tend to be happier and healthier in the long term. A habit of sabotaging relationships is like any other habit that diminishes your quality of life — you can change it.

Unhealthy love relationship habits

  • Mismatch: repeatedly choosing partners who are unavailable or fundamentally incompatible with you and your goals
  • Serial dating: entering the shallow end of the dating pool over and over only to bail when things get a little deeper
  • Gaslighting: thinking your partner’s “crazy” or dismiss their concerns as invalid or untrue when problems arise
  • Impulsiveness: can stem from chronic anxiety and put you on the verge of self-sabotage
  • The Four Horsemen:
    • criticism
    • contempt
    • defensiveness
    • stonewalling

Bad relationship habits will stand between you and relationship goals like emotional intimacy, marriage, and having children.

4 ways to turn off self-destruct mode

1. Practice introspection

Notice what you’re thinking when a relationship starts to get rocky. How do those thoughts connect with experiences you’ve had in the past?

Investigate your attachment style and whether there are things you could process so you don’t carry them into future relationships.

Think about your self-esteem level and whether there’s room for improvement. Practice self-compassion as you face fears about being vulnerable with a partner.

2. Talk through it with your partner

At the very least, as you examine your history and habits, communicate with your partner about self-sabotaging behaviors and how you’re working to change them.

3. Add checkpoints to your relationship road map

Once you’re aware of your sabotaging habits, have regular check-ins with yourself and your partner to look for signs of stress in the relationship.

4. Look into these relationship concepts to build a stronger bond

Vulnerability is a necessary ingredient in strong relationships. Tapping into the sensitive areas and concepts will make you more available for connection with others.

Know when to walk away

A pattern of relationship self-sabotage is often fixable with some self-examination and therapy. But don’t let hope tether you to a relationship that is unsalvageable.

If your efforts to address problems have been ineffective, it may be time for a break. If either you or your partner has been traumatized, abused, noticed mental health declines, or experienced addiction as a result of relationship trouble, it’s OK to dissolve the relationship and seek treatment for yourselves individually.

The Secret Scrolls – Daily Teachings

Let The Stress GoYou cannot bring what you want to you if you are feeling stress. Stress or any tension at all is something you have to remove from your system. You must let the stress go – it is the only way you can bring what you want. The emotion of stress is saying strongly that you do NOT have what you want. Stress or tension is the absence of faith, and so to remove it all you have to do is increase your faith!

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne

The Secret… bringing joy to billions

Practices To Remove Your Emotional Energy Block

By Sheila Pryce Brooks

Have you ever woken up fully aware of the responsibilities and tasks that are expected of you, yet for whatever reason you just can’t bring yourself to do them? Do you recognize that you need to remove an Emotional Energy Block?

Perhaps this happens on a regular basis. You say you’ll deal with it tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes. Well, know that you are not alone. Many of us will face this issue at some point in our lives. Oftentimes, we don’t know what exactly is going on within ourselves, or more importantly how to overcome this internal wall we’re facing.

One thing I want you to know is that you will get through it.

These are called emotional energetic blockages and removing them means that you’ve got to face the situation head-on…albeit gently.

What are blocked energy emotions and how do I release them?

So, you’ve been feeling lost or stuck, but you don’t know why or how to get past it.

What you are going through is an emotional blockage. What is an emotional blockage you ask? It is when our suppressed and neglected emotions manifest within us as physical, mental, or emotional roadblocks, causing a lower quality of life. The energy is literally stuck. This occurs whenever we have negative experiences and instead of allowing ourselves to feel and process the situation, we hide from it or ignore the problem. As we continue to carry that energy, it is eventually expressed through volatile behaviors, physical ailments, or mindset or emotional blockages.

Here is a list of symptoms you may encounter when experiencing emotional and/or mindset blocks:

  • Low self-esteem or lack of worthiness
  • Confusion
  • Unhappiness
  • Apathy and/or loss of passion
  • Resistance to face responsibilities or everyday tasks
  • Lack of creativity
  • Lack of purpose
  • Feeling lost or stuck
  • Any sort of unexplainable physical pain

6 ways to remove emotional energy blocks

Now we are going to look at 6 different ways you can remove emotional and mindset blockages from your life. Keep in mind that everyone is different, and this is a list of suggestions.

  1. Journaling – this allows you to ask yourself questions, dig deep, and confront any underlying issues you’ve been avoiding
  2. Meditation – if you’re a beginner, there are 10-minute guided meditations that focus on a variety of topics
  3. EFT– aka Emotional Freedom Techniques is when you tap with your fingers on various meridian points on the body while embracing negative and positive statements
  4. Move your body – The muscles in our body store memories on a subconscious level. Movement allows us to set free those trapped emotions! This does not have to strenuous or time-consuming. Light stretching or a walk outside is enough.
  5. Listen to music – Difference sound frequencies can raise our vibration and shift our mood, while songs from our childhood can bring back happy memories of our past!
  6. Talk to someone you trust – Talking through your experiences and feelings allows you to express and release that energy.

Tips to keep in mind:

Take baby steps, especially in the beginning. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Conquering small steps daily leads to more inspiration to keep going. You’re chipping away at the blocked energy. If you feel physically exhausted, it’s your body’s way of telling you to rest! Go easy on yourself. It’s alright and quite normal to experience these feelings.  You are working your way through them and day by day you will take steps towards your happiness and fulfillment

The Symbolism Of Skulls In Hinduism & Buddhism By Matt Caron

It’s hard not to be stirred when looking at a human skull. After all, it’s a stark confrontation with the reality that we’re all mortals. Every culture throughout history has had the exact same reaction- and formed their own beliefs and traditions because of it. This is especially true for two of the biggest religions in the east: Hinduism and Buddhism. Known for their deep thoughts about life and death, these two religions have used skulls extensively in artwork and depictions of deities.

In fact, skulls in eastern symbology are so important that they’ve been traced all the way back to the dawn of the Hindu civilization- over 5,000 years ago. So what exactly do they mean to these two world religions?

Ancient India

In India, skulls played a particularly important role in religious depictions. Skulls often adorned ancient gods and goddess as necklaces or bracelets, showing their ability to conquer death. For instance, Nataraja, an incarnation of Shiva, dances the cosmic dance of creation with a necklace of skulls adorning him. The garland of skulls around his neck identifies him as time, and the death of all beings. To the Hindu, this is a natural progression of life; everything moves in a circular fashion.

Life and death are both part of the cosmic drama and are embraced- not resisted.

While the representation of skulls in Hinduism is fairly straightforward, Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism take it a little deeper, with unique perspectives. Similar to Hinduism, skulls are generally depicted as a necklace around a deity. They’re known as munda malas. However, instead of representing death or loss, it represents the important Buddhist concept of emptiness. In Buddhism, emptiness is considered to be a quality of the universe.

This means that phenomena we experience has no inherent nature by itself; instead, we attach meaning to what we experience. It’s basically saying all events are neutral- but we choose to magnify them in our minds. A skull´s four canine teeth are described as symbols of biting through of the four maras (obstructions). Single skulls appear in various forms and functions in Tibetan iconography.

For example, a skull-lamp, which burns human fat, with its tongue burning as a wick, would be described as a purification symbol. The body (skull) is purified by the flames, as are speech (tongue) and mind (fat). This example derives from ancient Hindu cremation rituals. Rather gruesome, but it gets to the point: life is transitory.

Conclusion

While it’s true that skulls are important to many religions and cultures, the eastern fascination with them is totally unique. It could be argued that it’s a bit morbid- and that may be true- but there is a certain quality of serenity to it. Everything in these two ideologies embraces the inevitable conclusion of life and death. But this is to push us to transcend both, and seek a much more satisfying and spiritual lifestyle.

My Hypersensitivity Is Real: Why Highly Sensitive People Have ADHD, BY ZOË KESSLER

What Is Hypersensitivity?

Hypersensitivity — also known as being a “highly sensitive person” (HSP) — is not a disorder. It is an attribute common in people with ADHD. Symptoms of hypersensitivity include being highly sensitive to physical (via sound, sigh, touch, or smell) and or emotional stimuli and the tendency to be easily overwhelmed by too much information.

What’s more, highly sensitive people are more likely to suffer from asthma, eczema, and allergies. “It’s good in some situations and not in others,” says psychologist and psychotherapist Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., author of The Highly Sensitive Person. She believes knowing that you have hypersensitivity is important. As with ADHD, being aware of it makes you realize that you’re not alone.

What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Hypersensitivity?

After I told my younger sister, Melissa, about my ADHD diagnosis, we reminisced about our childhood. “If there were family arguments, we would think it was something little, but, for you, it was huge,” said Melissa. “Something that I considered a minor spat, you felt was monumental and earth-shattering.” It wasn’t until I was 48 that I recognized what caused me to be a drama queen: I was born with ADHD and hypersensitivity.

I first learned about the genetic nature of hypersensitivity by reading Scattered (#CommissionsEarned), by Gabor Maté, M.D., a physician and psychotherapist. “People with ADHD are hypersensitive,” says Maté. “That is not a fault, it is how they were born. It is their inborn temperament.” When I read Aron’s The Highly Sensitive Person(#CommissionsEarned), I finally recognized this sensitivity in myself. According to Aron, 15 to 20 percent of the population is born with a high level of sensitivity.

“When you know that you are highly sensitive, it reframes your life,” says Aron. Knowing that you have this trait will enable you to make better decisions. “Sensitive people have to live differently in order to be comfortable.”

Clinicians working with people with ADHD view hypersensitivity, both physical and/or emotional, as a common comorbid condition. “[People with ADHD] often are hypersensitive in one of the sensory domains: sound, touch, or smell,” says Ned Hallowell, M.D., author of Driven to Distraction (#CommissionsEarned). “My daughter with ADHD will only wear cotton, she won’t wear wool.”

I discovered that my longtime habit of fidgeting with my hair was due to hypersensitivity. I dislike the feel of hair strands tickling my face and neck, so I bunch it up in a knot. Before long, it feels like someone is driving her knuckles into my skull, just where I’ve knotted my hair. So down it comes. Then back up. And so on, throughout the day.

Other sensitivities include sounds and visual stimuli — flashing lights and moving objects. Studies suggest that those with ADHD also suffer more from asthma, eczema, and allergies — conditions of hypersensitivity — than those without ADHD.

What Is an Example of Hypersensitivity?

Prior to discovering my hypersensitivity, I perceived my over-the-top emotions as a character flaw. My mom would say, “Why can’t you get on an even keel?” As a child, I didn’t have an answer. This added to my already-low self-esteem.

“Recognizing their high sensitivity can help people stop feeling bad about themselves,” says Aron.

A friend, Denise, diagnosed with ADHD at age eight, had a similar childhood to mine. “My parents would say, ‘You need to toughen up. Don’t be so sensitive. Don’t be so influenced by what others think about you,’” says Denise. “I still find, as an adult, that if I’m fighting with peers, I immediately take their words and gestures to heart. I’m too quick to accept the nasty things they may be saying about me.”

Denise is sensitive to environmental noise. “I need to get into a forest or a quiet place every once in awhile to calm myself down. I am also overwhelmed by the constant flow of information we are bombarded with these days.”

Psychologist and ADHD coach Michele Novotni, Ph.D., says she sees higher levels of physical sensitivities and emotional reactivity in her ADHD clients than in the general population. She told me about a client whose manager made an unkind, unfair remark at work. A person without ADHD may have let the words bounce off of him, but her client, who has a high level of sensitivity, ended up in tears.

Novotni suggests that it is the tendency of people with ADHD to feel overwhelmed that leads to their hypersensitive reactions. This, in turn, contributes to their difficulty in coping emotionally. Take the routine of going to work in the morning, for example. Most people get out the door without forgetting anything, ready with a game plan for the day. Someone with ADHD, who can’t sort tasks and prioritize, feels tired and overwhelmed by the time they get to work.

“Some of my clients tell me that socializing is work,” says Novotni. “So if you think about the things that most people do for recreation as being work, you probably won’t have the resiliency to cope with other things that come down the pike.”

Why People With ADHD Often Have Hypersensitivity

“Just as we have trouble filtering what goes out,” says Hallowell, who has ADHD himself, “we have trouble filtering what comes in. I can’t back this up with research, but in my clinical experience, and in my own life, it seems that we tend to let things get to us. We take on the experiences of others very quickly, like the insect on the leaf that takes on the color of the leaf.”

Maté explains that, if individuals with ADHD are born with a high level of sensitivity, it takes less stimulation for them to feel more overwhelmed, especially in distracting environments and dynamic conversations. Plus, the more sensitive we are, the more likely we’ll feel pain. “Emotional pain and physical pain are experienced in the same part of the brain,” he says.

Many of us have discovered positive things about living with ADHD, and a high level of sensitivity may also be used to our advantage. But like ADHD, hypersensitivity must be managed and controlled to let the positive aspects — creativity, empathy, and depth of perception — shine through. I’ve learned to do this, and so can you.

How to Treat Hypersensitivity

How do I cope successfully with my hypersensitivity? By following these simple strategies:

  • Honor your sensitivity. Don’t make yourself do things that are difficult. As much as possible, choose situations that suit your temperament. Highly sensitive people need more time than others to process the events of the day. Before you overload yourself by going out in the evening, take a few minutes to consider if you can handle more stimulation or you’ve met your limit for the day.
  • Step back. Allow yourself your emotional reaction to a situation, but consider that there may be other interpretations. Pause for reflection and take some deep breaths to calm down. Analyze the situation and re-evaluate it.
  • Block it out. To avoid sensory overload and anxiety, always have earplugs and a headset with you to block out noise.
  • Tone it down. If crowds and noise are problems, find venues that are quieter and less populated — a smaller grocery store instead of a major chain, for example, or a small doctor’s office located in a home instead of a large group practice at a hospital.
  • Reduce extraneous stimulation. Say ‘no’ nicely to things that have overwhelmed you in the past, that you don’t have to do or just don’t want to do. Identify your limits and implement them when you’re overwhelmed.
  • Make sure you’ve had enough sleep: Rest or take a nap before facing a situation that will be highly stimulating or after an intense one to regroup.
  • Use relaxation methods: Meditate, pray, or do some yoga  to strengthen your ability to cope with day-to-day challenges by practicing feeling calm and learning how to recreate this sensation

Questions to Ask Instead of ‘How Was Your Day?’ By Rachel Bowie

1. What was the best part of your day?

2. Did anything surprise you today?

3. Did you read/listen to anything interesting today?

4. Did you take any photos today? What of?

5. How can I make your day easier in five minutes?

6. What did you do that was just for you today?

7. What do you wish you did more of today?

8. What do you wish you did less of today?

9. What made you laugh today?

10. Did anything make you feel frustrated today?

11. Did you receive any good news today?

12. How many cups of coffee did you have today?

13. What are you most grateful for about your day?

14. What was the best conversation you had today?

15. Tell me three good things that happened to you today.

16. What did you have for lunch today?

17. What inspired you the most today?

18. What is something you did today that you’d love to do every day?

19. Did you do something kind for anyone today?

20. If you could do any part of today over again, what would it be and why?

21. When did you feel appreciated today?

22. If you could guarantee one thing for tomorrow, what would it be?

23. If your day turned into a movie, who would you cast?

24. Will you remember any specific part of your day a year from now? Five years? How come?

25. Aren’t you going to ask me about my day?

You Are Meant To Have A Rich Life

In times of economic anxiety and upheaval, the principles of the law of attraction remain rock steady – to attract money, you must focus on wealth. It is impossible to bring more money into your life when you are noticing you do not have enough, because that means you are thinking thoughts that you do not have enough. Focus on not enough money, and you will create untold more circumstances of not having enough money. You must focus on the abundance of money to bring that to you.
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